my bones are tired, my pulse is weak

i'm sorry that all my photos look exactly the same always, i hope you can see a quiet intimacy in them; that is so often what i'm inspired by. there are also pictures of some words that i wrote- it's much more difficult to share little poems and writings than anything else for me, but i write every night and i don't want the words to stay trapped between the covers of my journal forever (although, that is probably where most of them will stay)

turn down your mind
empty your head
shut off the lights
i'll turn down the bed
your body is warm, we've forgotten our doubts
we'll melt like candles until we burn out
those words to that love song
i still don't believe
i have nothing to say
but i don't want you to leave
our clothes are lying on my living room floor
and i left my heart on the shelf by the door
so stay with me, stay tonight
lover please hold me, i know it's not right
look and my body, it's pale and meek
my bones are tired
my pulse is weak
i want you to breathe me back to life
i want to see you in the morning light
busy old fool, unruly sun
we're as foolish as we were then
you will pick up your clothes, and kiss me goodbye
and i will be lonely
again

xx

a bottle of gin is not like love

it makes you blind, it does you in. it makes you think you're pretty tough. it makes you prone to crime and sin, it makes you say things off the cuff. it's very small and made of glass, and grossly over advertised. it turns a genius into an ass, and makes a fool think he is wise. it could make you regret your birth, or turn cartwheels in your best suit. it costs a lot more than it's worth, and yet there is no substitute. they keep it on the higher shelf, the older and more pure it glows. it has no colour in itself, but it can make you see rainbows. you can find it on the bowery, you can fine it at elaine's, it makes your words more flowery, it makes the sun shine, makes it rain. you just get out what they put in, and they never put in enough. 

love it like a bottle of gin, but a bottle of gin

is

not

like

love.

xx

I am by no means a food blogger, but my smoothies in the morning look so pretty I thought I'd share. I stopped eating meat about 7 months ago and had to change my diet quite a lot so I was still getting everything I needed to be a proper functioning human being. It's green because I put in spinach o.O don' hate. Is good. Anyway if anyone cares this is my bestest smoothie with heaps of good shit in it (also i dont measure anything ever so just assume that all measurements are based on as much as i can fit in my hand):

-handful of spinach
-blueberries
-banana
-whatever kind of spoonful you can find of L(inseed)S(unflower seeds)A(lmond)
-same spoonful size of flaxseed
-spash of oatmilk (or whatever...I convinced myself I have a dairy intolerance even though there is no evidence to support this. except my fake intolerance does not apply to cheese)
-ice

Blend it all up, put it in a glass and call it breakfast.

xx

Part II of MY AWESOME BIRTHDAY- presennnntttzzz! This is what they are:

1-flowers, candles, etc
2-funny pinecone candle
3-ceramic crumpled cups
4-SPACES by frankie
5-Lovelllyyy rings
6-Close up of Julia DeVille ring
7-The back of this Julia DeVille ring is an irish love knot :)
8-Monaisms book from one of my favourite galleries MONA
9-Handmade card from my little love
10-Some more cards from my big loves
11-Print of a section from the Berlin wall (Berlin is my favourite city in the world)
12-Friendship map from Cheesy
13-Julia DeVille boxes, almost had a heart attack when I opened them :)

So it turns out having birthdays is fun after all! In the past few weeks there have been some really lovely comments on recent posts and also lots on older ones. It's always so nice to receive any feedback at all, I really appreciate it loves :)

xx

and in that moment we were infinite

 It was my 21st birthday yesterday, and I made a really tacky but also really awesome little nook in my garden. If you've been reading this blog for a whle you'll know that I really don't like my own birthdays (because I am not a normal person who enjoys normal things), but last night was kind of great. I had my best friends over ( as many as I could scrape together...so many are still overseas :( ) and we sat on the ground and drank pimms and mojitos and talked about all the stupid shit we did when we were younger.

For some reason, the older I get, I feel like I know nothing about anything. There is so much I want to do, so much I want to be that sometimes it all feels so big and insurmountable. But last night it was enough just to sit outside in the clear night with the people I love all around me and positive energy pulsing through the spaces between us.

xx

PS Tara (the girl in the orange dress) wrote a really great article for portable.tv about the video I made for Cheesy's fashion assessment! It's so lovely and well written, have a looksy HERE

PPS i dont know why the photos won't align :(